Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Flash Games - Sketch Blocks


I was just roaming the intarwebs looking for another game to review, and I came across a game that I thought would be fun, but it really, really isn't. The game is called Sketch Blocks, I found it on www.funflashgames.com, and I thought it would be something like Picross, but I was sadly wrong. Sketch Blocks is simply, a Tetris rip-off, and not a very good one at that. All it adds is some incorporation of challenges like "Make it through this level in 3:00 minutes", which is super easy, and not very fun. I really wish I opened any other game. It's just boring, in Tetris it got a lot harder while being super simple, just speeding it up. This game has to incorporate challenges in, and to even differentiate it more from Tetris, they made it have "levels". In adventure mode there's about 5 levels, and there all set around parts of the house, but still being on your notebook. That's when challenges come in, in certain levels, they have like the 3:00 minutes thing I mentioned earlier, which is the 3rd level I believe. There might be more levels, but I didn't care enough to subject myself to more Tetris Rip-off.

I give this game a 1/5 for being a Tetris Rip-off, firstly. There should only be Nintendo making Tetris games, no exceptions, not even flash games. Only Nintendo, and Atari (They had the best Tetris for 80's Home Consoles). Secondly, it has really annoying music that loops. It sounds like it's from fuckin Barney or Teletubbies. Thirdly, It doesn't add anything new that anyone would give a rat's ass about.

Flash Games - Buttonhunt 1, 2, and 3


Hey guys, in for possibly my final review today. It will be the games Buttonhunt 1, 2, and 3. They are very popular, yet very dumb in the sense that they are way, WAY, tooo fucking easy. I'm not going to walk you through the games, because if you can't finish all three of them, your a fucking pansy. ButtonHunt comprises of you going through simple levels looking for simple to find red buttons, and there's three boss levels, I believe. They are basically just puzzle levels just to make it the smallest atom in the universe harder, ButtonHunt 2 is the same concept. Go through simple levels finding simple to find buttons, but in ButtonHunt 2, the creator got his head out of his ass and made it a bit more challenging, or you could say more monotonous. There's only a few levels that will make you think a bit. Then, there's ButtonHunt 3, the easiest one in my opinion, the only thing it's worth playing more than one time for is if your an achievement whore and want to get all 5 achievements, and some are pretty hard. Like Ninja Gaiden for the NES hard compared to the Button Hunt.

Overall, for a series, I'd give it a 3/5 for each seperate game, I'd give each a 2/5. Each game is mediocre at best, but the third one's achievements make it a bit more... shall I say... funner?

Flash Games - Synapsis Review/Walkthrough



Haha, I know I'm posting reviews up fast, but I'm a fast type of gamer, I can get pretty much, every flash game done in 5-20 minutes. But here's a game that is beyond our spectrum of thinking. It's a little game called Synapsis, it's an adventure game to be exact. When I say, beyond our spectrum of thinking, I mean, you can't fucking understand the game. What I can understand of it, your an office worker or C.E.O, and this box just drops out of no where on your desk. *Walkthrough is in Expand.*

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Your first instinctive is probably to start clickin around on it, and that would be right. You gotta click the swirly thing then press the front of the box, which then eats you fuckin' whole. You end up in this weird looking world, with 3 rooms on your left, 1 on your right, and a1 way forward. You gotta go into the first room with the robot lookin thing on the picture door. Pick up the Jerry Can, the Wrench, the Gear on the far right, and the Nut on the far left. Pop the power station open with the wrench, put the nut in it. Pour gas into the nozzel on top of the power station, and put the gear in the treadmill. Now start it up, and wait for a disk to pop out. Bring the disk up to the light, and just let it sit till it's red, and put it in the robot's eye, and wait for the door to pop open. Go into the door, and move your mouse over all of the black ravens in the picture to get the desk to open, and get the book. Take the candle as well. Go back, and go into the Psycho Room, and pick up the note on the ground to the right. The number on the wall written in blood is 915, or 9:15 so change the clock's time to that. Pick up the razorblade, and use it on the tile that's bottom right corner is kinda edged up. Take the thing inside the hole, and use it on the radio. Take the cross inside, and look in the book. It shows an outline to draw on the wall, so draw it with your cursor, and go into the hole it makes. Basically, just try and get the beams to connect to the center point closest to you, and pick up the brain that starts to float. Go back, and into the church, and put the lit candle on the only pedestal without a candle, which will make all the candles some how light up, little bit bizzare, don't ya think? Put the cross into the small cross in the water holder thingamajig. Throw the piece of paper into it as well, and a flame will pop up with a beating heart, pick up the beating heart. Go back out and into the subway. Wait for the tram to come by, and open the door with the panel. Do this quickly, and pick up the phone on the ground in the train. Look in the book, and memorize the number or write it down. It's different for every game, but call the number, and just listen to the guy, and wait for a hatch to open in the tram way. Go down it, open up the panel, and put the heart into it, and go back to the huge room with all the doors. Go upto the circular door type thing far forward. Open the panel, and put the brain it, and then enjoy the ending, and try and figure it out, because I can't fucking understand it.



I'd give this game a 5/5, it's an excellent flash game, that anyone should play for the experience alone, even though it is BAT-SHIT INSANE! Hope to get one more review up tonight guys.

Flash Games - Whack Your Boss


Whack Your Boss is an interesting little game, that I had heard about quite a while ago. A lot of people said it was super funny, like when you throw your boss out the window. So I finally decided to see what was so special about it, and boy, were they right. So, the game starts off with you in your office working, and your boss comes in. He talks about you not doing a good job, not meeting your quota and all that shit you have to do for office jobs. Now, the game straight out tells you, you have 16 ways to kill your boss in this office, and you gotta find 'em all to beat the game. Now, most people would just roam there mouse around the screen looking for all the stuff to see the funny death animations, which, are indeed funny, and a very good tactic, but some people like to search for them, which is fine. But, most of the death animations usually end up having you beat your boss to death, stab him, or run him out the window. So, there isn't a lot of variety other then using different objects of the sort. The game takes maybe 5 to 10 minutes to complete, and it's only worth playing for the laughs. The ending is pretty gay too, but you can't expect much from a flash game. *The Ending is in Expand*

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The ending is basically that you were dreaming, and a dream bubble pops up from your head, and it shows you holding your boss's head.



I'd give this game a 2/5, only because it may make you laugh, or let you take out your frustration.